S6 here doing some S2 work since I am logged on and still in Ed military speak mode. It must be true if it is on russian TV, and Ed can speak Russian, who would have thunk it.
Posts Tagged ‘humor’
Sometimes you would think we are making this stuff up, but that is bigfootery.
Believers in the P&G film better start posturing and dust off the PG threads about the surviving characters, Big Bob H, Morris, et. al. as a new unholy trinity is planning on a big release on the anniversary of the event this year. How about this for an interesting cast of characters? Cue the old Chicago Bulls intro music – da da dan dee da da da da da… Serving as the brains of the outfit – Grrreeegg, my hair is stuck in the 70′s, Long. Coming in as the videographer and complainant du jour John, don’t you dare speak a discouraging word, Johnssssssen. And serving as chief drum beater, hyper, huckster Thomas, I did not perpretate two hoaxes I was fooled, Biscarrrrrdi.
Like we said, how do you make such things up? Carmine involved in revealing a hoax. Greg it was fine to fight with these guys but money is even better. And the litigator, actually attempted litigator as it got tossed. The humor, the irony, the way this will fire up bigfootery in general. It’s stuff like this that keeps us around.
Melba, maybe. But we guaaranteee there will be a scholarly article published this year. But this one will cover something that absolutely exists, the bigfoot researcher and his/her group behaviors. Project I2I&S is just about complete, and we will even get a few mentions for our advice and support. It was ready for submission and then the facebook sasquatch group explosion happened and it was just too fruitful to neglect. It’s a right-handed effort, watch the video and you can figure that comment out.
Every concert has a whistler dude
Wearing a mullet, loud and drunk
We are at a concert, loud whistling is rude
You were warned thrice you skinny punk
But you would not listen,
So my elbow you were kissin,
My how that blood makes your lips glisten…
Don’t be the bigfoot whistler dude, heed the second warning and don’t be goaded into throwing the first punch.
” Only Ridiculing the ridiculous” – that is Bigfootery Gold and on target like the laser mounted in the taser. Wish we had coined that phrase. Keep ridiculing the ridiculous, we actually get it and have a sense of humor.
Was just running though a few old posts and found we had put forth the idea of fireworks nearly two years ago. Matt invented wood knocking, we invented fireworkian bigfooting. Some fine company we keep. Doubt the claim, here’s the post.
Three of the BFE stringers also received emails from a production company seeking “bigfoot researchers” for a competition to see who could discover the most compelling evidence of bigfoot each week in a different place. And idea we proposed nearly a year ago, damn intellectual burglars. Funniest part was reading the poor grammar and typos in the solicitation. One would have to be a really desperate “bigfoot researcher” to respond and pursue this deal. Some people want to be on TV so bad, don’t forget to not look in the tomato can (obscure Beverly Hillbillies reference, readers get many bonus points if you got it).
Independent “bigfoot researchers” quake and start pruning their Friends List on Facebook.
We were recently forwarded a link to fabulae reginae of the Anti-lock Brake Society, and it is pure McCarthyism. They (she) are notifying the “community” that they will be blacklisting “bigfoot researchers” who work with certain undesirables that have pointed out the absurdity of the copy writed photo that they (she) does not own. The stated reason? These undesirables put witnesses at risk of harm. A few quick thoughts:
- As two women in our life-like to say – “get a grip” and “get over it”. The ABS is neither important, legit or credible. The penalty for violating your pronouncement is hardly that. No ABS reports, oh no. It’s the report nazi’s.
- One of our other favorite sayings is “walk the talk”. Last we looked, TT is still on your “Bored of Directors”. That Bored and the process of office and officialdom are comical in and of itself, but we digress. For those that don’t know ol’TT used to publish a cheap near Canadian counterfeit of this blog. In that blog TT particularly abused Tim Stover and Fasano, two bigfoot witnesses. Just so we have this straight, it’s ok to have someone who harms bigfoot witnesses on the Bored of Directors but if they are messing with the fabulae reginae, with in the case of Team Tazer some darn good humor in our opinion, then they shall be labeled as untouchable and those that touch the untouchables shall be blacklisted.
- You realize, Ms. internet para (as in not) legal, that your threat of legal action puts the anonymity of your witness at risk via discovery, correct?
What’s next? Boycotts by the ABS? Do you realize the absurdity and comedy of this “release”? hypocrisy and inflated egos, two of the fuels to bigfootery.
Uh – Oh – Alex Hern you just admitted on Squatchdetective that you have contact with Team Tazer - to the blacklist for you until you are called in front of Fibulae Reginae’s Un-Professional “Bigfoot Researcher” Select Committee for judgement and sentencing. Fear “the committee and the queen”, fear her with all your essence.
Any “bigfoot researcher” worth his/her salt has followed the long and hyped DNA study. We’ve done two stories, we were the first to break the Better Business Bureau reputation, rather disreputation, of the principal investigator and we published a connecting the dots type of graphic on some of the folks involved in supplying “evidence”. The second article portrayed the initial Biscardi connection(s) that dissolved as the project gained steam.
We always watch for the bigfootery angle of these types of events. Certainly the hype aspect, the believers grabbing and savoring every little morsel and the maneuvers of people being cut out were classic elements of bigfootery. But one missing element was the money-making angle, one of the keystones of bigfootery. Well, we have a DNA project exclusive breaking news on the money-making angle.
We have seen and learned about a prototype field bigfoot DNA test that will be hitting the market once the scientific blessing of the DNA is given, published, or at least hyped. This device will be a one time test instrument for potential bigfoot hair and gives reliable results within 15 minutes. It is also relatively nondestructive to the hair, only a small part is lost. The hair is placed on the device and the tip of the hair is held in place by a peelable adhesive. The device has a patented reagent imbedded as a microfilm that comes in contact with the hair. The “bigfoot researcher” then adds readily available fluids to activate the reagent. Results appear in a simple graphical form, within a few minutes a “bigfoot researcher” will know if they reliably have a sasquatch hair sample and if it is worth sending it on, in a prepaid envelope, for further testing. It is reported further testing will be “reasonably priced” and a certificate of authenticity and attainment will be sent if the detailed lab results confirm initial testing. This certificate is reportedly one of three that will be required to be a Certified Outdoor Collection Keeper of Bigfoot. A picture of the prototype device follows, but our source is telling us they will be changing to a camo color, adding a splash guard and building in a small glow stick for night operations.
Look for the official Bigfoot DNA Field Analysis kit to be marketed by the DNA entrepreneurs soon. You can join the facebook page to get on the waiting list for what is going to be the “must have” “bigfoot field researcher” “scientific” doo dad of the summer of 2012.
In mobilizing the troops this evening a lament erupted. The lament is that our posts sometimes help the bigfoot carnival barkers strengthen their playbook. We see them mastering the art of pulling the victim card. We see them employing the intellectually dishonest approach of presenting bigfoot “evidence” on their bigfoot website or blog but sayin they are not sayin it is bigfoot and we will let the masses decide. The masses have drank the juice, we and they know how that little swerve works. We see them use the hype machine marketing approach when conference time rolls around, start with something to energize the base early to get that sector committed, then tease out some more, and then drop another hype bomb about two weeks before the big event. We’ve seen it, we’ve reported it, bigfoot carnival barkers have copied it. And sometimes, like today, we see all three get wrapped up in a neat little bigfootery package.
After a few weeks of hyping the event, a picture was published today. Those drunk on the bigfoot punch just sucked it up. We did some studying and think it is hooooo-eeey. And it is not the it’s too good line you sometimes hear. Our issue is it is just not right, it doesn’t pass the smell test.
Why? For starters the field of depth just does not look right for a trail camera, which was the reported device. It literally looks like a bigfoot wedged into a space about as wide as it is. The drama queen also purports to have multiple pictures, so this thing stumbled by a conventional flash trail cam multiple times. As we have said before, bigfoot are like the Amish, no pictures please. We have used them to run em off during OOPS with some success, actually it seems it PO’d em as they trashed the thing. We are calling multiple uses of the carnival barker bigfooter strategems on this one.
A little digging ensued during the meeting, people were dispatched to gather up more info on trail cams and depth of field. What we found:
- Most manufacturers will admit that the effective close range of a trail cam is 5′
- Most will also admit that inside 10′ one gets a fairly dramatic flash white out. There are new ones that are better, but this picture supposedly is four years old and thus a few evolutions of trail cam technology ago. FWIW a color trail cam was pretty darn expensive back then.
- Most trail cams have a fixed focal length of 42 mm. With digital sensors, this means the lense/sensor technology roughly matches that of a conventional 35 mm. This fixed focal length thing is important.
- When we put the numbers for the size of the object and the distance to the object, the focal length calculation is well outside the capability of a fixed 42 mm focal length camera.
We started this post days ago and just did not have the time to get back to it. Since that time a possible contender for the suit du jour has appeared, and some back pedaling on it being a trail camera has been issued. It’s now a 35 mm camera with a zoom lens. That story is almost as ridiculous as then you have someone outside, perched higher than the subject in the picture, at night, in relative proximity to a beast using a flash attachment. And there is a claim of multiple pictures.
We are calling bigfootery bull crap on this one. Best explanation is the craving to be adored by this particular DDQ (dysfunctional drama queen) and pre-conference season hype that is right out of our bigfoot carnival barker handbook. Now we have opened the table for the victim card, perhaps a mistake but someone needs to call BS when it is BS. And here’s the best part, they really do not care if it is real or legit because it is about what we mentioned earlier in the paragraph; hype, being a “brave and beloved bigfoot researcher”, gathering some notoriety and putting butts in seats, and telling those butts which seats are where they need to be.
Our predictions: Weeks of new developments, new experts, revealing interviews if she can keep people interested in it and not get blown out by issues with the picture. Perhaps with a guest appearance by the photographer at a paying event.
Either completely ignoring those that are saying BS, or a long, heart-felt essay on how tough it is being a real researcher.
Drama and bigfootery will continue to ensue. And we will lament that we give those too dense to figure it out with a bigfoot carnival barker playbook and tips.
This is what we have been saying for many years. Some get it, some go on the attack.