Lower level “Bigfoot Researchers” should come to know and love the term blobsquatch. Blobsquatch is a term that can give you bigfootery street cred. Remember the tip about learning the jargon. Blobsquatches have the following qualities:
- They are often presented on crappy “Bigfoot Researcher” websites as either the real deal, or the crafty carney barker “Bigfoot Researcher” will present them with either “decide yourself” or “other people say it is bigfoot” proviso’s although he/she is not making such a claim.
- They are often still pictures, but sometimes entire blobsquatch videos are presented.
- They often come with a red circle surrounding the actual blobsquatch, extra blogsquatch points are earned by circling individual limbs, and features of the face. And yes, I once saw a blobsquatch that had a sexual organ circled, that blobsquatch was hung like an oak tree.
- The blobsquatch often is very difficult to discern, hence the red circle, but has some visual attributes that imply a form.
- Blobsquatches are most frequently presented in brushy or forested areas, open area blobsquatches seemingly appear at great distances.
- Ask 10 “Bigfoot Researchers” what they see and you will get a number of opinions, blobsquatches require imagination, a zealous belief and a bit of analytical skills.
So, what are blobsquatches?
- Rocks, stumps, trees, roots and shadows that resemble the elusive bigfoot.
- Hoax attempts.
- People who are mistakenly or purposely presented as the elusive bigfoot.
- Actual bad, or at least the best that could be taken given the circumstances, photographs of the elusive bigfoot.
If you fancy yourself a field “Bigfoot Researcher” and you are caught up in the spirit and fright of the moment, and a deep desire to finally see something, you will eventually find yourself confronted by a blobsquatch. I remember an early time when I was in an area of supposed “hot” activity glassing hillsides when I ran into my first blobsquatch. It was a holy shit moment, let me tell you. This stump was perfectly proportioned and had an amazing profile from head to butt to be a bigfoot. It looked exactly as one would imagine a bigfoot resting on its haunches would look like. On the blobsquatch scale of 1-10, it was a 8. After five minutes of watching it remain essentially motionless I did what all enterprising blobsquatch observers must do. First, take a picture of it, then take another just to be safe you had everything set up right. And when in doubt check it out. One reads so many reports of “Bigfoot Researchers” where they run away instead of walking toward the elusive bigfoot, that always amazes me. Once you reach the object the mystery will be solved, if there is no object there take another picture. At least you will have some evidence that what you photographed was animate in some fashion. Then return to the original location of your picture and look, if it is again gone, take another picture. If it is still there, take another picture, you have probably captured a trick of shadow, light and/or moving foliage.
Here are a few ways to minimize the impact of blobsquatches.
- Do not put your camcorder or camera on auto focus. Invariably those features do not auto focus upon the elusive bigfoot, instead the brush and trees the blobsquatch is hiding behind will be in crystal clarity, while the elusive bigfoot will not.
- As said previously, when in doubt, check it out.
- Do not post the picture or video to a bigfoot website, yet alone attempt to sell it or air it on a TV show, with the proviso that you are making no claims that it is the elusive bigfoot and people need to decide for themselves. This is intellectually dishonest and the actions of a carney barker.
- If you feel compelled to present the picture, do not circle the object of interest.
And now a few blobsquatches for your viewing pleasure.
And one more.
I had hoped to add a you-tube clip from the Monster Hunter series as one clip is a blobsquatch and the independent photographic analyst even uses that term, but unfortunately A&E evidently patrols you-tube looking for use violations.