Posts Tagged ‘Creature Weekend’

Myron had the following word problem in math:

You call a hotel to make a reservation for nine rooms, they say they have two different types of rooms each with nine openings.  The hotel also says they have other types of rooms, but not enough of those types to meet your reservation.  At a minimum how many rooms does the hotel have available?

Myron answers nine and does not pass the sixth grade proficiency test, but he does pass the Huckster test.


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Rick Dyer’s new millenium version of the Minnesota Ice Man.  He’s got his new and improved stuffed bigfoot, no pork additives this time, and is hitting the road with a newly wrapped trailer and vehicle.  On his schedule is a stop in Ohio for the carpetbagger’s creature festival.  Somehow, that just fits and the faithful (all couple dozen of them) will find it  a delightful addition.  Wow Newman, what a scoop.  The BFE smells desperation.

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Time becomes so precious when weather turns good, especially with spring and rain flows.  With the end of the spring bigfoot conference season in the east we thought we would try to distill the three events into three sentences each.  Here goes, in chronological order:

Ohio Bigfoot Conference – Overflowing the Salt Fork Lodge, the ball room and a large closed circuit room, people (who were understandably unhappy people) were turned away.  The organizers is facing  a tough decision for next year, stay at the lodge and limit attendance, or look elsewhere.  Is big really better, well it is better than shrinkage and loss.

Chautauqua Bigfoot Festival – Adding Bob Gimlin to last year’s ho-hum lineup should result in a big increase in attendance, right?  Not so.  Organizer, who is a business dude, is pretty honest that the event needs to at least break even and is seriously thinking this may have been the second and last year for this event.

Creature Weekend – In their eyes they beefed up the speaker line-up, which should result in greater attendance, right?  Not so, attendance was down more than 50%.  It’s reported the lodge echoed with the sounds of….embarassment and cult chants of “this is great”.

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And they are increasing ticket prices 75% to pay for him.  Another great decision for the original conference of Big Stinkery.

We could spend a great deal of time talking about Super Dave’s background.  From negative reviews of his presentations,  to questionable behavior (six paragraphs below the grinch), to getting arrested for an autograph swerve (read to the bottom), to slipshod writing,  to more bad reviews hinting that Super Dave is supercilious ,(that’s an even better handle for him Supercilious Super Dave – kind of rolls off the tongue, eh?), to more slipshod writing ,   to being uninformed  and intellectually bereft in making circumstances fit his personal theory,  to his multiple claims of innovation (affidavits, the massacre theory) that are simply buzzarding the work of others.  We read one of his early books, there were inconsistencies and missed questions, hardly the work of a professional investigator, or at least a competent one.  Let’s just say in our opinion Dave is not so super and likely has a disdain for most of the people who will be attending Creature Weekend as he views them as amateurs and rabble, hardly worth picking up the speaker fee the attendees are funding.

But all those problems and issues with Supercilious Super Dave pale in comparison to his involvement in captaining the SS DNA Titanic – The Ketchum “Study”. In his own words:

“Regarding the DNA Study

The world needs to understand that North America Bigfoot Search was the organizer of the study. We orchestrated the search that led to picking Dr. Ketchum to conduct a study of bigfoot DNA.”, and

“Dr. Melba Ketchum is the star of this team. Yes, we did interview a variety of scientists prior to enlisting Dr. Ketchum’s services, but she had the interest, background and demeanor to work with a variety of personalities and professions and be successful in the endeavor. Without Dr. Ketchum’s nonstop commitment to this study, it would never have reached the point it has today. She has attempted to balance a myriad of interests while keeping a professional and polite demeanor; she should get a gold medal for her efforts.”

All we can say is way to go Super Supercilious Dave (cool, we can interchange the two words – this combo is even better).  What keen investigative skills and judgement you have.  You picked someone marginally qualified who turned out to have a terrible business reputation with the BBB, Texas and creditors,  was sued for patent infringement and, in our opinion, has less than stellar  integrity given how this is spinning.  And she delivered magnificently.  The story of the journal has broken down, the science is broke with the hybridization theory totally shredded by a real geneticist and the best conclusion on method is contamination.  Forget bigfootery gold, you managed to mine and refine bigfootery rare earth minerals.

Can it get worse?  It has.  The claim of peer-reviewed went into the gutter with the inclusion of April Fool’s papers in the article citations – those would have clearly been picked up in a real peer review process.   The excuse/spin that a reviewer/referee insisted upon inclusion, a desperate attempt to fix a huge leak.  Be honest Super Dave, have your carefully selected, “scientist” prove it.  And then the newest allegations coming from Justin, kickbacks, destruction of specimens, could it be worse?  Just maybe.  Will an enterprising attorney realize that Super D’s carefully selected “scientist” use of a forensic DNA lab which was contributing to the  study, which is now being panned for contamination and poor methodology, was also used by a DA to convict their client suddenly have a new basis of appeal and reversal?  That’s some serious doo doo, and we are not talking about the doo doo that was processed for DNA.  The SS DNA study has developed a serious list, will Captain Super Supercilious Dave find a way to elbow the women out of the way and abandon it?  We look forward to that spin attempt given his key roll in organizing, orchestrating and selecting the star.

Here’s our macro concerns with the study and the fine investigative work of Super Dave that organized it.

  1. It is highly doubtful that the next DNA study of bigfoot will be taken seriously by the scientific community, or the mainstream media.  We have learned that in life sometimes that really great opportunity only comes up once, thanks to Super D it was wasted.
  2. A ton of money was spent and what did those benefactors get for their bucks, not much, unless you count embarrassment.  Resources were diverted from better bigfootery ventures and getting that money to flow again will be much more difficult.  Who could  fault Wally from simply walking away from bigfootery thanks to Super D and the vet?
  3. Some potentially valuable samples were lost thanks to the organizer of the study and the vet “scientist” he selected.
  4. Those that snicker at bigfootery can now laugh openly, anyone trying to sell this “study” will show bigfootery as being populated with gullible simpletons.   The good news is there are few survivors hanging on to the flotsam of the SS DNA study.
  5. An obvious failure as a professional investigator to select an appropriate “star” for the team, due diligence is something that should be done when six figures are being invested.

We are hopeful that some of the marks that pay the fine profitmongers ( a 75% ticket price increase just might turn a profit) of Creature Weekend to be subjected to an hour talk on how super Dave is will get a chance to ask some questions of him.  We may work on our Top 10 questions to ask the organizer and star selector.

We’re not sure who has the worst judgement, the organizer of the “study” or Art, now Newman, and crew.  A match made in the stars, similar to the “scientists” conclusions of the DNA “sequenced”.  How perfect for Super, a product he can sell to both your bigfoot and ufo audience.  The grand unified theory of ufos, bigfoot and evolution just had the cornerstone laid, perhaps it is historic.

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My great concern is not whether you have failed, but whether you are content with your failure. Abraham Lincoln
Ten score (which is generous) and two hours late, Creature Weekend ended in a whimper, conceived in ego and inexperience and dedicated to the proposition that greed is good.
Now we are engaged in a debate of failure, testing whether that event, or any event so conceived, can long endure.
The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what you did there.
Our thanks to Honest Abe.
Spin as you like, it stunk and the only people thinking otherwise are the few worshipful drones, and some of those peeps were even grousing behind your backs.  Admitting failure is the first step to recovery.  You gotta own it, dudes.  You took an event that consistently turned a profit and filled a chair packed room and turned it into – be honest, you know what you turned it into.  Whether you are an organizer or a vendor, not covering costs is not exactly fun.
Our observations and predictions were bull’s-eyes – it was a performance that met and exceeded our expectations for bigstinkery.  Thanks for giving us a new word for the BFE vocabulary and then giving us a tangible example, a picture so to speak, for the dictionary entry.
One loss is good for the soul, Too many losses is not good for the coach. Knute Rockne

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Links to our stories over time, prophetic.

First – we claim bigstinkery and shadyness because the organizers are staying anonymous and thus have no track record.

Second – bigstinkery is realized as the headliner says – no, never committed to them, won’t be attending – and that info is withheld for an indeterminate period

Third – we let the organizers know that the lie that the cancellation was due to “health” is known and they have now achieved Big, Big Bigstinkery.

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You probably did not know, or care, that one of our stringers knows Bob in more than a passing way.  When he read your announcement that he would not attend your event due to “health reasons” he was naturally concerned and did some checking.

If you are smelling smoke about now, Arthur,  that would be because your pants are on fire and your nose is growing.  BIG Bigstinkery.   The more this event unravels the more we think the first article was prophetic.  We may have to coin yet another term, The BigClusterF.

We are hoping this is the last we have to cover this debacle but thought you should know what we, and others, know.

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